AN ACT OF LOVE - The story of Susan and Thomas

Feelings before the ligation

• They felt that they did not have a deep understanding of their faith to help themselves make the important adult decisions they would face. They knew what the Church taught, but they didn't have an understanding of the why.
• Tom had quit going to church completely because he couldn't see the point in it.
• They were married in a Catholic church, but they did not receive the sacrament of matrimony fully prepared.
• Neither of them felt like obtaining the sacrament of Reconciliation in years. Because of this, they were not open to receive the many graces God wanted to bestow on them as a married couple.
• David was born prematurely at 24 weeks because Susan had a weak cervix. The baby lived only 5 hours, but they were extremely thankful that a nurse baptized him before he died.
• Soon afterwards Susan became pregnant again. The ultrasound showed I had extra amniotic fluid. It also showed that their baby had a barrel chest.
• Their beautiful daughter Jessica Sue was born with Jarko-Levin syndrome in 1983. This deformity of the spine and ribs prevents the lungs from developing. She had tubes and lines connected everywhere, the respirator was taped to her face, and she was kept paralyzed with medication so she would not fight the respirator.
• They held Jessica as much as they could, they had her baptized, and she died peacefully.
• The mental, physical, and spiritual sufferings of losing three pregnancies made them wonder if they could go through another one.
• God miraculously blessed them with a beautiful, completely healthy daughter.
• When their daughter was 3 months old, they had serious doubts about trying to conceive again.
• Before ligation, they first tried artificial insemination, but each session left them both feeling extremely uncomfortable. The Holy Spirit was telling us to quit, so they did after the third session.
• In 1987 God blessed them once again with another gorgeous daughter, perfectly healthy. But because of the painful delivery, Susan finally opted for ligation.

Feelings after ligation

• They decided then to have the tubal ligation done at the time of the cesarean birth.
• Tom and Susan felt that they made a decision for sterilization out of fear and ignorance. They were obviously afraid of losing another child.
• They knew it was against Church teaching but did not understand why.
• They came to the realization that they didn't look for the truth in the one place we could be assured of finding it, the Church. And that they did not have enough trust in God.
• Susan began to have a feeling of not being a whole woman in God's eyes.
• Susan began going to Marian Conferences and praying and reading more to learn about the true Catholic faith. There, a priest spoke about "The Dignity of the Human Person." He mentioned that “each person is made by God and for God.” He added that “each person has individual dignity, and because we are made in the image and likeness of God, we cannot know ourselves unless we know God.” The priest concluded that “Our body is a physical image of God and expresses who God is.”
• Susan realized then that in our culture our bodies are treated as machines, as something we own and can manipulate. Machines take on human personalities, and persons act like machines.
• She came to the conclusion that in reality, the body is the expression of the person that is part and parcel of the gift of life that we receive from God through our parents. And she concluded that we do not own our bodies, and they are not machines.
• The couple felt that by sterilizing Susan, they were telling God, "You didn't make Susan right." They both realized that it was an affront to God and an attack on themselves.
• Susan came to the conclusion that her sterilization was wrong.
• They both repented and decided to obtain the sacrament of Reconciliation.
• As the years went by, their conversion continued, and their faith and trust in God deepened. They became convinced that real justice required them to, if possible, restore what we had destroyed.

Feelings after ligation reversal

• After making the decision, they both felt a deep sense of God's peace. They were sure we had made the right decision.
• After the reversal they became excited about the possibility of having another child.
• Shortly before the third anniversary of the reversal, they were ecstatic to discover that they were expecting. Their two daughters screamed with excitement at the news.
• As Susan entered the operating room, she felt the fruits of the many prayers offered up by family and friends. God's presence and a deep sense of peace filled her. Minutes later they heard the healthy cry of their beautiful baby boy. As tears filled their eyes, they realized God's great act of love of entrusting them with another one of His precious children.
• They cannot imagine their family without their son Jonathan and the joy he brings to their lives each day.

Reference: Long, John. Sterilization Reversal: A Generous Act of Love. One More Soul. Kindle Edition, Location 2866