The Story of Reba and Her Husband

Feelings before the ligation

When my husband and I were married, we had a child right away; a beautiful daughter named Candace. I had an easy pregnancy but due to a type of dwarfism I have called Pseudo achondroplasia, I had to have a c-section delivery. With this type of dwarfism, you cannot tell if the baby has inherited it until around two years of age.

Three months after Candy’s birth I found out I was pregnant again. This was quite a shock to all of us! The doctor’s first question was, “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to have it,” I answered. “Is there any reason I shouldn’t?”

He told me the only problem was the stretching of the uterine wall so soon after the c-section and that it could tear towards the end of pregnancy. My husband’s first thought was abortion. I knew I could never do that and so right away he put that thought aside.

When Candy was 11 months and two days old, her little sister, Kendra, came into the world, a month early! During this pregnancy my husband and other family members pressured me to have my tubes tied. They had many ‘good’ reasons:

• Financially. We were broken. We barely made it from week to week.
• We already had two babies and we didn’t ‘need’ any more.
• Health wises it would be too hard on me as I already had my hands full with the two babies. I didn’t know yet if they would have dwarfism, which would make it even harder on me.
• All of this was pounded into our heads and finally my husband came out with the biggest reason of all!
• He would leave me if I didn’t have my tubes tied!

I didn’t like I had a lot of choices now! I loved my husband and I couldn’t imagine raising these two babies by myself. A friend told me about hulca clips that can be place on the tubes, but can be removed later if you want to become pregnant again. I consented to this and when Kendra was born, they clamped my tubes. I never liked the idea, and after a couple of years I started getting very depressed. Every time I saw a baby or a pregnant woman, I was envious!

After about five years, I went to an OB/GYN about having the clamps removed. He was not encouraging at all. He said it would cost about $10,000; it was not guaranteed to be successful, the insurance wouldn’t pay any of it, and the money would have to be paid up front before they would even schedule it. After that visit I was even more depressed. Where could we get $10,000? Besides, my husband wasn’t interested anyway.

Feelings after the ligation

Eight years after the sterilization, my husband accepted the Lord as his Savior and the Lord did miracles in his life. I re-dedicated my life to the Lord and was re-baptized. This was probably the happiest time in our marriage.

I started reading my Bible a lot more. All I could see were verses about children. Here’s just a few…

• “Children are a heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is hula His reward.” Psalm 1:27:3.
• “And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply: bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.” Genesis 9:7
• “As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:4,5

As I read through the Old Testament, I saw that when God blessed a nation, he opened their wombs. When he punished a nation, He closed their wombs. This understanding increased my desire for children, but my husband wasn’t so sure. He loved our children and children in general, but he didn’t think we needed more children. He was also concerned about my physical health and the health of our children (dwarfism).

In 1994 we attended a Bill Gothard seminar. At this seminar he discussed the same scriptures I had been reading. He talked about women having reversal surgery done and we obtained a list of reversal doctors at this seminar. However, all the doctors on that list were so far away and the cost was so high that I still didn’t know how we could do it. I then read a letter in Mary Pride’s magazine about a doctor in Jackson, Tennessee. The fees were lower and Tennessee was much closer. I contacted him and he wrote back with all the information I requested.

By now I was thoroughly convicted that I was wrong in having my tubes clamped. I was wrong in limiting God’s blessings. Romans 14:23 says, “Whatsoever is not of faith, is sin” so for me this was sin. I prayed for God’s forgiveness and I knew that I needed to do everything possible to correct this matter.

Another year went by and my husband started talking about the surgery. A few months later he was convinced that we needed to have the reversal, but we still didn’t have the money. Finally, in early 1997 we found out we would be receiving some money. We had so many things to do with this money, bills, repairs to the house and car, etc., we had the money spent before we received it!

Once night I said to my husband, “I think we would almost have enough for the reversal with this money.”

“How much more would we need?” He asked. I look up the letter from the doctor and it was enough for all the surgery plus $10.00 extra. My husband gave permission to schedule the surgery. He was absolutely sure this was confirmation from God.

Feelings after the ligation reversal

We made the trip to Jackson, Tennessee, and I had the tubal reversal on April 17, 1997. It’s been nearly three months since the surgery and we haven’t conceived yet. We have such peace knowing that God is in control of our family and not us. If we have another child and that child has dwarfism, that too is in God’s will. Exodus 4:11 says that God makes the dumb, deaf and blind. He controls all things, our abilities and disabilities. Psalm 139:13-16 tells us we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” These scriptures allow me to see that I am made exactly the way God wants me to be and so are our daughters. They also allow me to release any fears or apprehensions about having more children.

I don’t know why it took 13 1/2 years for us to learn this lesson. My husband has not had one minute of regret that we had the reversal. Our daughters are happy and excited about the possibility of a brother or sister. As for me, I am relieved of a 13-year-old burden.

Note: Reba and her husband had two children after Reba's tubal ligation reversal.

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